I didn’t have any clue what Hypothyroidism was before last thursday’s doctor’s appointment. I knew people have thyroid issues and usually that meant if someone was overweight, the thyroid was to blame. Of course I was ignorant to it because it didn’t effect me.

Now it isn’t a HUGE deal because it doesn’t change how life goes except I have medicine to regularly take. The only issue is the dietry change that the medication requires.

Synthroid is the medication I’m on and if you don’t know you have to take it in the morning, on an empty stomach, drink plenty of water, and you cannot consume antacids, calcium, and iron up to 4 hours afterward. So if you want to know what has calcium and/or iron, just look in your fridge and cabinets because its pretty much in everything.

Plus side is that bacon has no calcium or iron.

I decided I didn’t like that my doctor didn’t provide me with information for nutrition suggestions or even what my condition was to begin with. I found out that for thyroids, you need to see an endocrinologist. I go to myinsurance’s website to find out that my family medicine doctor is also an endocrinologist.


I’m on medicaid so my options are very, very limited for someone like me. However, I know that this is just a hiccup so I just kept looking online for dietary options but theΒ ONE thing I am missing is what to do in the morning after I take my medication.

I wonder how many other people are struggling with medical conditions but not receiving the best medical care, advice, and support that others are receiving for the same conditions.

It is a relief to know that the reasons I struggle with exhaustion, depression, lack of energy, and obesity could be related to this. I mean I just thought I was fat because I was lazy but if I have been lacking energy from my thyroid then it isn’t really me, right? I don’t even know for sure but I still know that the obesity is definitely on me. No cliffhangers on that one.

I want to find out more information about hypothyroidism and what I can do to help the symptoms I deal with stay away. I try to put my time to school and job hunting but adding this to my load isn’t going to be fun. These things take time I suppose.

Anyone with any advice or information, I hope you drop a comment!

Look out Friday here I come.....                                                                                                                                                                                 More

Eye’ve got a problem, lmao.

Don’t you just feel like you’ve almost got your life together because you are keeping up with your medical appointments?!

I slacked off on seeing a therapist but I have every intention of going tomorrow even if my mood swings are minimal for the past few weeks.

I have a little laser procedure coming up on Monday 4/23 for my left eye. So get this, I went to the eye doctor over 6 months ago to get my glasses and a routine exam completed. The doctor tells me I have a small hole in my eye but that it isn’t a huge deal.

All I thought was, “Lady, I like to see, the fuck do you mean I got a hole in my eyeball?!?!” She only says we will check on this in 6 months.

Sooo, my appointment comes up and I’m doing research online about what condition could it be and I’m just getting more worried. I calmed down like who the hell knows what is going, but I am not a doctor so let me calm my flat ass down. (I am upset that Grammarly tried to correct “flat” to “fat”. Look, Grammarly, I DON’T HAVE AN ASS, LEAVE ME ALONE. k, bye!)

I get a call from the eye doctor’s office, the day before the appointment, asking me if I had a referral.

Sayyy whattt, mother fucker?! I’m seeing red at this point and felt compelled to ask if they any diagnoses for that but a bitch wasn’t ready for another remark. I asked the lady why would I need a referral if your doctor asked me to make the second appointment? This girl had no idea why I needed it, she kept repeating what I said but in different ways. I was lowkey laughing because I wanted someone else to be annoyed at that moment.

I ended up canceling the appointment, finding a primary physician, and finally getting my referral. I went to a completely different facility because of the unprofessionalism I experienced previously.

I go into this place to see a retina specialist. The assistant puts some drops in my eyes to dilate them. The specialist comes in and gives me more drops after 10 minutes. At this point, I should have just been blind.

The specialist looks in both eyes and confirms he sees the hole in my left eye, that alone was more information than I got from my first appointment about it. He tells me I could leave it alone or get a laser treatment to close it while will lower any potential for future complications. Insurance covers it? SURE! If it’s for free, it’s for me.

I’m nervous but I am more interested in how the feeling is going to be and can I be excused from adulting for a day.

Wish me luck you 5-7 people that might read this.

I gotsa toddler!

I haven’t wanted to blog because I just haven’t felt the need or want to do so. Plus I haven’t had much to really post about.

First things first, Alaina is 2 years old. I am so proud and happy to have my sasshole daughter in my life.

My parents had a party before her birthday and we had small get together with my boyfriend’s family on her birthday. She got a special gift from us:

This vehicle is hilarious because it has a horn and kids radio that plays the same 4-5 annoying songs. It has an auxiliary function, but the radio music plays louder than whatever you hook it up to. I cant wait until is able to operate it on her own. Thankfully it has a remote control so she can still get around.

There is an oddly satisfying feeling seeing other people get things for your kid for their birthday. Even if it was or wasn’t for any occasion, it just makes me jelly inside. Alaina is like most toddlers, very easy to please and doesn’t require much money or effort to entertain. It just reminds me that when life is busy for all of us, parents or not, you still thought to do something with her or for her.

I’m grateful that even in our situation, jobless for me again, we are managing to leave Alaina in daycare. She constantly is upset coming home afterward. She shows steady improvement in her vocabulary, numbers, letters, and colors.

I know this is the bigger stage of childhood: terrible twos.

I got her a push popsicle. She ate it. She cried because it was gone. But it looks like the worse batch of vomit on a child. But I can assure everyone, it smelled and tasted like orange, raspberry, and lime.

She loves to get under the bed and hit her head a million times without crying.

You have to make sure the toilet is cleaned before you use it.

I definitely have my moments of anger and deep sadness because she makes me feel exhausted. I can do everything to please her and it’s not good enough. The one thing that is dangerous to play with is the only thing that shuts her up. And then if I want to be intimate with her father, she knows 12 hours before I do and ruins it. I don’t know how other parents were able to have another child right after the last. I praise y’all.

I’ll be posting another blog soon about my mental state, some health issues, and my overall well being. Stay tuned


I’ve Got A Hairy Situation

Alaina is going to be 2 this month!

Yay!! Speaking of yay here’s to it being a Friday & to us having a, windy as hell, Nor’easter .

When she was born she had a full head of hair. In this photo she was 3 months old and you can see how straight it was.

For the first year of her life, it was smooth sailing with her hair. I believe someone somewhere on this earth has cursed her and us with her multiple textured hair. And that isn’t just the only problem, it’s a start 😢.

The top of her head, unevenly, has much longer hair and it had loose curls. I’d say if you see a man balding on the top, but not on the sides and the back (🀑), that patch of bald is where Alaina has most of her length.

The sides of her hair above the ears and by the temples are falling out and thinning. As it leads to the back of her head, that section is dried than the Sahara. No matter how much oil, moisturizer, co-wash, and leave in conditioner is used, it is dry.

This is the left side: This is the back: This is the right: And this is another profile of how her hair length and textures are complicated.

So you see her hair was just washed with:

And We got something for the bald spots and dryness of her hair:

It is trial, error, time, and money just being recycled over and over.

We haven’t gotten her hair cut. Many people disagree or agree because of her age and they think she will look like a boy. And some just have an opinion for no other reason then to annoy me.

I mean what do you do with a toddlers hair? I don’t expect her to come out the house flawless with pretty ass hair. But I want her to have an idea, when she’s older, that we have figured out something to tame her hair.

Don’t get me wrong, I love this child’s hair because it’s so curly and full of life. But I hate the feeling when my hair was dry and it was falling out. We don’t share the same hair so my techniques didn’t work. I’m going to try:

On a side note, I’m upset I just bathed this girl and I smell her from across the room.

πŸ’© πŸ’© πŸ’©

I wonder if anyone has the same struggle and what other products have we over looked in this hair fulfillment journey.

Oh oh and another side note, so Alaina has been so great in daycare that her teacher wants her 5 days instead of 3 days every week. I said she wanted the funds πŸ˜‚. But she said she’s very bright, gives her undivided attention, and can tell that we review stuff with her at home. She’s been so much better that every time she comes home, she will give and tell me numbers, letters, and colors. Just tonight she was counting 6 7 8 9 10 in the tub. It is amazing to see the growth in her size and intellect increase.

I hope you comment with your thoughts or suggestions 😌.

40 Random Questions

I found a list of 40 funny random questions. I decided to list and answer them for some humor for myself and everyone else in life!

  1. What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back? A: To tell someone you love them.
  2. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up on? A:Β My daughter
  3. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? A: No, I don’t know CPR.
  4. What makes you bored? A: Staying at home.
  5. Which is your favorite four-legged creature and why? A:Β Chinchillas, because they look so freaking adorable.
  6. Do you like spicy food and why? A: I like minimal spicy food. It has to be slightly spicy or I’m dying.
  7. Are you old-fashioned? A: No
  8. Something or someone you miss the most from childhood? A: The strong bond I had with my cousins and mom’s side of the family. I was younger so I was clueless about the issues but I missed feeling like I had a large loving family.
  9. Are you usually late, early or right on time? A: If someone is taking me somewhere, I am late or barely on-time. If I take an Uber or bus to go somewhere, I am early. I always prefer to be early.
  10. Are you happy with your life for the most part right now? A: Yes and no. I am not happy with my situation but I am happy to have my family.
  11. You can have one of the following two things: trust/love? A: Trust
  12. Tell me about your favorite book, magazine or comic. A: I don’t have one.
  13. Tell me about someone you envy? A: My boyfriend
  14. Tell me about something you’ve achieved? A: Nothing yet
  15. Tell me about the worst punishment you had when you were a child? A: Every time I got hit with the belt.
  16. Do you like chocolate? A: Yes.
  17. Do you like rainy days or snowy winter days more? A: Snowy days!
  18. Name 3 things in nature you find most beautiful?Β A:Β Sunsets, Sunrises, and giving birth.
  19. Which are your 2 favorite careers and why? A: I love IT and Computer Science.
  20. Which is the hardest thing you ever had to do? A: When I became pregnant and got with Craig, I had to learn to accept his love and be open to it. I had to learn and open myself to give him love in return. It wasn’t easy when everyone you’ve been with has let you down.
  21. When was the last time you lied and to whom and why? A: Today, to my manager, because I didn’t want to start drama.
  22. Tell me about something you really regret? A: Not committing to a healthier lifestyle early in my life.
  23. What scares you the most and why? A: Being unable to rid myself of the anxiety and depression and feeling that death is my only outlet.
  24. What do you do in your free time? A: Nothing. I don’t drive, I don’t go out. I work on class work and chill at home.
  25. Which is your favorite part of the human face and why? A: Eyes, because your emotions are in them.
  26. Which is your favorite body part of the human body and why? A: Butts, I like the way the look and bounce.
  27. Tell me about a mistake you made? A: I didn’t do my best to support my family.
  28. If you could do anything or wish for anything that would come true, what would you wish? A: I’d wish to be happy and to never experience this kind of depression again.
  29. What’s your middle name? A: Marie.
  30. How big is your bed? A: King.
  31. What music are you listening to right now? A: None at all.
  32. What are the last 4 digits of your cell phone number? A: 1178
  33. What was the last thing you ate? A: Chinese food
  34. Tell me about your favorite music/song/band? A: I love Atreyu, Boyz II Men, NSYNC, and Old school R&B. I can’t pick a favorite.
  35. Tell me about something you would happily do again? A: Give birth, and of course during I won’t be happy but before and after…oh yeah happiness.
  36. Name your 5 favorite foods. A: California Rolls, Spanish food, Strawberries, Ice cream, and Frozen Yogurt.
  37. A good question to ask people to know them more… A: Did you vote for Trump?
  38. Do you like to shop? A: If I had the money, yes.
  39. How often do you go online? A: All day, every day.
  40. Tell me about someone you really admire. A: My boyfriend is the only person on this planet that listens to me, if he isn’t angry LOL, and understands me. He always has room to grow but he tries when others have not. A person that tries to do better for you whether you ask or not because they long for your happiness is a great person to admire. I love him.

Sick – ish

Wow! It feels like forever since I have blogged!

Life is always hectic. It is even worse when your child is sick.

Alaina was congested and had a bad cough towards the end of January. That was when we received her nebulizer. Almost two weeks ago she had the same symptoms but it was worse. She was at be parents house struggling to breath and her father and I ended up rushing her to the ER.


But now she is done her medication and she is a lot easier to deal with.

Soooo, after your child is sick who else gets sick? The parents. We both were ill for a couple of days but the coughing started giving me more issues with my sciatica. I ended up going to the most terrible hospital in Trenton…SAINT FRANCIS…and I was given a muscle relaxer, a shot of Toradol, Motrin, and Promethazine. Oh joy.

It really freaked me out to have a sick baby. Already, it is stressful as hell. Then you add in the deaths related to the flu outbreak…and it is a panic. It is a shame you feel relieved it was only pneumonia.

Remember y’all, wash your hands, your babies hands, your man’s hands, your momma’s hands, and your booty too.


Break break break

I will be posting soon. I am in my final week of school, and me, the baby, and our daddy have been ill. So very very soon I shall post! I need a blog session πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ˜­

Is it Friday yet?

Happy Monday you guys!!

First and foremost, my hubby had a good birthday weekend! Now he has 2 more years until 30. Wow he’s getting old…haha. πŸ‘΄πŸΎπŸ‘΄πŸΎThis is a throwback. I realized we don’t really take lots of pictures together. But I’m happy to not have look like we are some perfect couple when we aren’t.

My Man’s Birthday Weekend

Well, we went to a hotel in Bensalem, PA called the Inn of the Dove. Now this isn’t some grand ass hotel with room service or anything. This is to get out and be alone with your partner. They have rooms with a jungle, black and gold, and honeymoon theme. I choose the Deluxe suite along with 2 packages. So when we entered the room it was decorated with rose petals, chocolates, a couple of roses, a candle, a birthday cake, and balloons. The bathroom is huge! 😍 It is a walk in shower with 2 heads and a wall bench. The room included a jacuzzi in the corner across from the king size bed. There is a working fireplace and they also give you a complementary log and champagne (WITH ALCOHOL πŸ‘πŸΎ). It had a mini fridge with two bottles of water and two cans of soda. The room had dim lights and the jacuzzi was just amazing. We spent the beginning and end in the tub πŸ›€.

This is one side of the bathroom. This is the left side (top) and right side (bottom) of the shower.

I also made plans with a few of his friends to go out to Texas Roadhouse because I knew he would get a free appetizer and enjoy the food. The next stop was Parx Casino where we blew $160 too easily. Ironically I played $20 to $37 then $87 but I lost it all. And then Craig did his thing and clearly we just aren’t good with gambling. What’s more funny is that was the second time I went to a casino ever. I said repeatedly I am not a gambler and I’ll watch from the sidelinesΒ but I don’t know what happened.Β 

Super Bowl 52

THE EAGLES ARE SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!!! πŸ¦…πŸ’šI’ve been a fan for a long time. I will sometimes root for the Redskin🚫 because of Craig but otherwise I have always loved the Eagles. I’m not knowledgable in the sport aside from some basic things. I really had no faith in my team until I saw them run on the field all high spirited. When I saw Malcolm Jenkins with that tackle of the Patriots WR…lawd I was like we got this. Craig ALMOST had me reconsidering until the 4 quarter showed 2 minutes and 9 seconds left. I really didn’t know what to think or say once the clock ran down, and Tom Brady’s attempt on a Hail Mary was a HELL NO πŸ›‘.

Now I don’t need no one saying we got more rings than you, because clearly that didn’t matter when you didn’t win the Super Bowl! I cannot agree with the “celebration” going on in Philly but I have see just as many videos and photos of people who are Pats fans going crazy like the Eagles fans. Our fans have a rep of being sore fans. But people act as though we are the only fans to ever go crazy over the out come over a game.

The same people talking shit about the riots and damage being done are the same who don’t say nothing with an innocent person gets wrongfully assaulted or killed. πŸ€” Save me with the bullshit.

Mom-ish πŸ€—

I started Alaina with a little more vigorous potty training. I don’t expect my daughter to be amazing and perfect to get it done in 3-4 days. I just want to be more persistent with her for my sake. I don’t do too well with schedules and if I can get better with making the potty a habit, I will be happy. We could have a potty trained 2 year old 🀭 on our hands soon.

RANTTTT πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

I also feel like I needed this weekend to release many of my stress and depression triggers. It was just magical. I was able to really miss Alaina because I wasn’t home with her for almost 24 hours. Craig and I were able to be intimate without worrying about Alaina or her being in bed with us. It is never easy to live with other people. I think I will say that plenty more times in this blog. But it is very much true.

We also lack the space to have room for us and our baby. She has to sleep with us so we can ALL be warm together with the space heater on. We can’t just cuddle or lay next to one another. And it isn’t because we are parents and our baby just wants to sleep with us. This child could sleep anywhere with no issue. So can her dad, he can fall asleep as soon as he turns over. I could be in mid sentence and he’s sleep.

Lately, I’ve been so annoyed to see people act like they know everything. I understand if that is what you learned in school, at work, or just searching on your own. But damn, it is like if you have access to the internet you must have a degree. Where did you graduate from? Trump Internet University? If it is politics…then its all about how this is wrong and that is wrong. If it is about a case or involving the law…then here are all these law professionals. Like I said you may do this for a living, so go on and do your thing. But for internet trolls πŸ‘Ή, shut the hell up.

This has nothing to do with my babe, this is just a hilarious photo I found on the internet. πŸ€ͺ

I just keep being tested in multiple ways. And I can’t control when I am. I can only learn and move from it. I can just try to grow and be the strongest I can be. I’m just tired of being underestimated. My capabilities are limitless.

My rant of crap is over. I hope everyone enjoys their week. Again, happy birthday baby, Alaina and I love you bunchies!! I will be doing another post later in the week! I’m already hoping for the weekend 😩. Be safe. Be strong. Live on!

Trayvon Martin should have turned 23 years old today. πŸ’”

Oh this week…

This week is gonna be hectic for me. I’m probably over exaggerating but that’s exactly how I feel about it.

My man’s birthday is on Sunday the 4th. I feel more excited about his birthday than he does. I have no clue why. But it is also Super Bowl 🏈 Sunday with my Eagles πŸ¦… playing!

I have plans to take him out for his birthday this weekend. Really will be him taking me because I don’t drive πŸ€”. He is not a picky picky person but he is picky. So I’m nervous even though he has told me repeatedly that he doesn’t care.

When you’re a parent, who works, goes to school and work, and live in a house with three other people besides your spouse and child…you need a break. You plan to watch a movie together, but then you forget an assignment is due tomorrow. You guys both plan to get the girl to sleep sooner so you can have time alone πŸ˜‰ and she stays up so late you fall asleep before her. It is a rough job and you can’t quit from it.

This is a screenshot from a video I took of her licking her baby doll. And it is the lock screen to my phone. πŸ€ͺ

My mom is a godsend ❀️ because she will be babysitting.

I still have not started my homework for this week yet. I ended up handing in last weeks homework on Monday instead of by Sunday midnight. Get this, I also realized while handing in my week 3 assignments late into week 4 that a week 2 assignment was missing. SNHU has a new system to complete you classes with. So I didn’t pay close attention to week 2 and having an assignment due. I check what the assignment was and I always completed it 😭. I just never uploaded it online to hand it in. Technically I should have gotten a zero after this past Sunday for being late. I told my professor the confusion so I hope it’s graded so it is better than a zero. 🀯 Rant over about that πŸ˜­πŸ˜‚.

I just want to avoid my class work being late. I want to feel that this weekend will be great for him. Life has been rough for the both of us for these last couple years. We have talked about why, but when we both get too stressed or emotional we just lash out. We are both home bodies and we prefer to stay in. I also don’t have a car, I don’t have many friends, and the ones that I call friends are moms, too. I don’t feel like leaving my house with my toddler to hear two toddlers going haywire πŸ˜‚.

I just want to get out the house, spend money I only get once in a while on us, shave without scratching myself, and get my homework done on time. It isn’t too much to ask for, is it? 😁

I will surely update the world (like 10 people who may read my blog) about the weekend and his birthday. He will be the big 28 πŸ€¦πŸ½β€β™€οΈπŸ˜. He’s getting so old, I still think back to the times where I would friend zone him 😌.

Notice that this is from FOUR years ago!

It is 8 am, I’m in bed typing this out as my little vent session. I’m gonna get an hour of sleep (hopefully) and then go to work. I hope everyone else has a fantastic Hump Day, week, & weekend.

RIP Nick πŸ’”

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑