I’m not against religion. I’ve always been really curious about it.
Most of my life, I was raised by my single mom who didn’t have much help or influence from her families on religion. The Hispanic side of my family has rumors floating around about abuse, drugs, alcoholism, and even some rape/murder allegations. These people are the same folks that will praise Jesus and drip their homes in crucifixes.
I want something more to believe in and to look forward to in my life. I always struggle with myself, my thoughts. I sometimes don’t want to live. I sometimes don’t want to get out of bed. Sometimes I just don’t want to open my eyes.
I don’t have guidance and I’m afraid to ask questions because I don’t want to sound ignorant. I don’t want to feel judged or silly for asking how do you pray? What do you pray for? Why do you choose to be a Catholic over a Christian? Aren’t the Gods the same along with the Bible? Where can I get a Bible? How can I understand what it is telling me? How can I give myself to God if I’ve already sinned and possibly will again?
The only religion I heard of growing up was being Catholic because of being Puerto Rican. My boyfriend’s family is involved in a local Baptist church. I want to understand the differences and if it is okay to choose a side.
I want to know from others, no matter what religion they believe in or are apart of but what helps them believe? What influences you? Do you routinely go to church or pray?
I want to believe but I don’t know how. I want to read into a faith to be apart of something bigger than myself. I want someone to just educate me and be open to me because I might be ignorant but I am willing to learn.
I just want to know if God is real, and can he hear me? Does he know that I want to be apart of him and love him? Does he have faith in me?