Since my latest entry, Thanksgiving and Christmas have passed along with some family members. I really feel for my hubby because he has lost so many people in his life. The person he was years ago when we first met is different from the man I am in love with today.
The holidays only mean something to us because we have a child together. I am totally grateful for her because since I had gotten out of high school, these holidays sucked. Now, I get so excited to see Alaina be happy and excited to be around family. Thankfully she doesn’t take 15 minutes to open a present like she did for her first Christmas.
Holidays also remind me of the people who may not be there physically everyday with us but genuinely care for our well-being. When you get gifts for your child, you feel really happy because they get them something. When they also decide to get you and your spouse a gift, you think, “Okay, they didn’t forget I exist, too.” No one asks where are you and how are you doing, it is how is the baby doing? The baby can’t even tell me how she’s doing. But you care more of what or how she’s doing than the people who created her…LOL. #ParentLife
When you’re a parent, you never feel like going anywhere. You don’t feel like getting yourself ready, a child ready, the diaper bag ready, and pack these items into a car, or take a bus in my case. The worse part is having to consider if Alaina took a nap already, if you want to nap with her, will she need to eat while we are out, and is there a place to change her diaper. If any of those things on my mental checklist are going to cause an issue, my ass will stay glued to the couch.
Then there are those moments where traditions have almost become nonexistent because of the loss of a person. Maybe you used to eat your great grandma’s cooking, maybe your best friend would pop over unannounced to come eat and get a gift from your parents, or maybe they brought a lot of fun and spirit to the house hold. It reminds me that I’m not close to turning 30, we are just getting much closer to death.
We must live on. We have to provide for our kids, be supportive of our families, and day by day contribute to society with our strengths and weakness that make us human. Those individuals helped form us before and after death. I believe in life after death, I always believe they are looking down upon us. It is the reason I never resorted to other means while dealing with my depression, because I have so much more to live for in life. My daughter, my hubby, my family, and most importantly myself.
“God intended for us to celebrate with joy in our hearts and to never forget what we are truly celebrating.”
I hope everyone has a wonderful Happy New Year.